Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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