True but thats because hes a fetus.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
