was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning