dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
