just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
