O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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