I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
