the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize