areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize