My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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