More tranny stories later!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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