You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
