Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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