you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
