I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
