No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
