you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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