told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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