his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
