I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober