Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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