Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
