Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
