my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize