just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We need a shit load of segways right now
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
