You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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