i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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