Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
