guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
