just tell him i said nine months
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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