i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
