No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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