Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
