the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
bring money and cleavage
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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