this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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