I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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