would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The adults are the big ones right?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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