Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize