I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize