I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize