drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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