then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
