And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's just like the Real World with babies
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Randomize
