I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
