my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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