i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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