im having a threesome with these popsicles
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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