nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
