Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
