I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Your cock deserves a montage
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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