Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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