I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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