Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
