Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize