You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize