Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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