He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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